Heather's Cardinal Rules of Mom-ing

1. Do as I say, not as I do. When I tell Llama to touch gently, I am feeling less than gentle. Probably because she just whacked me in the face, the chest, or (Bucket's favorite) across the butt. When I say, "Inside voice, please," I am often screaming over her so she can hear me. As she's running toward the street, I'm chasing her, saying, "No running! No street!"

2. If there is an inappropriate place to poop, Llama will find it. Bathtubs, pools, church, a road trip on which there is not one clean bathroom for three hours. Those are the best places.

3. Cheap things are better than expensive things. A Cozy Coupe that I bought off of Craigslist and a diaper box are her current favorite toys. She ignores most of her other toys.

4. Really expensive things are better than anything else. She prefers to play with my cell phone, the cordless house phones, the Wiimotes, the laptop, and anything else with a cord and/or lights. Especially if it cost over $100.

5. Snuggling in bed is not optional. Every morning starts with a cup of milk and Sesame Street while we lay in bed together. Best part of my day, and I hope, hers.