Monday, May 4, 2009

There are days when I question...

What the HELL am I doing?

I mean, I'm in school full time. I have an interview for a job on Thursday that will, in all likelihood, be my new full time job. I'm obviously Llama's mama on a full time basis. Our house, because it is so small and has such a dearth of hiding places, always seems to be a pig sty. My husband is an awesome guy, the best dad, and incredibly supportive of my educational endeavors. But when I'm on break, as I am right now, he feels like HE is on break from the full time dad gig. Friday, he and Llama and I went out to dinner by ourselves, like a nice little family. Then on Saturday, he went to his fun second job (it was opening day at Kennywood!) and then came home to go to a wedding with me. (More on that in a second, Llama had her first sleepover!) And on Sunday, he went to a pinball show four and a half hours away and came home just in time to eat dinner at his parents' house.

Did I get the bathroom cleaned while he was on his happy fun weekend? No, I did not. I can't clean the bathroom with Llama in it, because she wants to taste the toilet brush and "help" me by grabbing the sponge and the cleaner. It scares me. Remember the vanilla debacle? The kid will drink anything.

This morning, I decided that the bathroom HAD to be cleaned, even though Llama was at my feet. I figured I would just keep redirecting her, right? Wrong. She is not a child who is easily redirected. Tampons? Loves them. Used razors in the garbage? Loves them too. Will she switch her attention from the unsafe razor to the safe (albeit not my perfect choice of toy) tampons? No. Will she sit in the hallway and play with some other, safe and approved toy? ABSOLUTELY NOT. So I had to close the door on her, leaving her in the hallway and me in the bathroom, because there was already cleaner sprayed around and I had to rinse it off without Llama's interventions. Screams and door pounding ensued. And I said, "What the HELL am I doing?"

I went through my closet and pulled out all the dry cleaning, because I have to get one of my suits cleaned before this interview. As I laid all the stuff on the bed (and Llama played in my shoe mountain at my feet), I thought, "What the HELL am I doing?" My life is crazy stressful NOW. It will be worse when I work full time. I have control issues (who would have guessed? :p) and the thought of leaving Llama in someone else's care kind of makes me a little nauseous. But I did it on Saturday with absolutely no ill effects. Hawaiian Punch was so awesome to offer to keep Llama for us while we went to the wedding, and when it was over, Llama was sleeping, Tuna Roll was sleeping, and Hawaiian Punch was already in bed when I called, so Llama just slept over. She had a great time, and I could tell that because when I got there to pick her up, she didn't care about me and only wanted to hang out with Hawaiian Punch. Knowing me, you'd think that would make me a little sad, right? Strangely enough, it made me happy. My little independent girl.

And as promised last time, pictures of Tuna Roll's baptism:

The happy parents (iHusband, Hawaiian Punch, Tuna Roll):

The actual baptism-ish... I couldn't get a shot of the water:
What a cute little Tuna Roll:
Oh, and Mother's Day is this Sunday. If your wife has already handled all the stuff for YOUR mom, it might be a good idea to do something really nice for your wife. Bucket reads this blog, and that's a not-so-veiled hint. Since I'm a mom AND I take care of all of Bucket's cards and gifts, with the exception of the ones he gives me...

Be nice to the moms in your life. Not just on Sunday. :)

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